Betty Halbreich was a shopping legend whose values I feel very much aligned with. Despite being Bergdorf Goodman’s crowning jewel of a personal shopper, she counterintuitively didn’t push clothes on the customers she helped. This quote from her obituary (Alex Traub, NY Times) after her August passing at age 96 really struck me.
Years as an unhappy shopaholic left her with a knowing attitude about the place of clothes in a woman’s life. “The displacement of love, affection and attention onto a pair of shoes or a dress has built an entire industry,” she wrote. “Like all good defenses, however, they are best used in moderation and only when one understands a little of the motivations that lurk beneath the surface.”
I and so many others of all genders can surely identify with the sentiments Betty expressed here. Heck, as a society we even have the often repeated notion of, ‘Retail Therapy’. Just this weekend I received a package with this messaging:
As the kids say, ‘it gave me the ick’.
My primary goal when working with clients is not only to demystify ‘Fashion’ (trends, quality and sourcing, etc) but to continually clarify WHY you buy and wear what you do as an individual. My hope is that for all the incessant messaging we get about trends, style, and what you ‘need’, a consciousness is established and reestablished when the inevitable chapters in the story of our lives are written.
I know I don’t want to wear many of the same things I did in the last few decades. Do I still think a lot of it was cute? Sure! Does it feel like me now? Totally/sometimes/absolutely not. (We contain multitudes, right?) The priority that I have recognized over time is cultivating clarity on what I love now, what I can use now, and what actually makes me feel good and serves my best interests, allowing me to accomplish specific daily goals.
What signals do I want to send to myself and others? What am I willing to pay for, or not? Am I aware when a sense of scarcity or FOMO has crept in, when I’m shopping as a distraction from something else in my life? It is really powerful to inhabit moments of feeling ‘I have enough’, and I want that level of satisfaction for everyone else, too.
Let’s follow in Betty’s footsteps by asking, ‘What are the motivations that lurk beneath the surface for you?‘ If you want help with the process, I’m your girl.
x Stephanie
